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I feel substantially better than I usually do on this date. I thank my VCFA plans. I was grabbing coffee at Zanzibar today, reading a book that was written by a potential advisor, his descriptions of North Beach making me nostalgic for the old Bay Area days, listening to music...and it sort of hit me that knock on wood this is knock on wood something I would have killed for when I lived in San Francisco, when I was in Tucson, when I was in Austin. Knock on wood. To have a place I like knock on wood, in a neighborhood I like, with full cupboards knock on wood and a husband knock on wood knock on wood, about to start spending my days in an MFA program where I get to work on my writing, read voraciously, utterly unscheduled except for my own self-designated routines, free to hang out in easy-to-get-to coffeehouses all day long. knock on woodknock on woodknock on woodknock on wood

The Queen of Wands comes up a lot, and I've mostly focused on the negative: the moody, temperamental, hot tempered and domineering figure, "she who must be obeyed." I forget about the positive side of Queen of Wands: the magnetic, attracting people and situations to her, able to exude an authority that does not need to be forced, a character of strength. It's been cropping up over and over again. I got it recently in a favorable situation and it didn't make sense until I realized that I was only focusing on the negative attributes of the cards. That happens with me, sometimes. Often, a card crops up repeatedly because whatever the cards symbolize will be pronounced. However, sometimes, I find that I get into the habit of focusing too exclusively on certain meanings of the card and I'm overlooking something important, so the habitual resurfacing is designed to draw my attention to that.

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